February 3, 2006

Dog Days

DustBuster for Dog hair. $15
Washing rug. $1

Never Being Alone. Priceless.

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"Are we done, yet? Lady, I've got dead pigeons to eat, SUVs to chase, and my boyfriend to bark at across the alley. Just do a quick lick and let's get out of here."

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We bought 15 easy dog tricks. She mocked our vain attempts. We tried food. She didn't care. We resorted to So Your Dog's Not Lassie and learned how to bend her to our will. "Most people forget to praise the dog when it's quiet, which means it only gets attention when it acts out."

"Good, Dead Dog."

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