One of my best friends was my roommate during the retreat. Except for my husband, she’s the first best friend I’ve ever had. I’ve had lots of amazing friends, but rarely had the ‘total package’. She and I share the spiritual side, we’re both art people, same age, similar taste in movies and hiking, similar taste in food/shoes/clothes. Along with our other friend, Jrex calls us the ‘triplets’.She’s in a new relationship for the first time since we became friends. He was also at the retreat. I thought it might be hard, and in some ways it was. In the last few months she’s been totally swamped in grad school, a department head for her school district, and in this new relationship. As a result our main point of contact has been ‘errand chats’ where we call each other while driving places. Twenty-minute snippets that maintain contact but are just never enough for either of us. It was frustrating to have to ‘share’ her with one more person. Frustrating that he now has a higher priority. Necessary for them, but hard for me.
2 comments:
I know what you mean. It's hard when a friend is unavailable because someone else has come between you. You are happy for the friend, but at the same time you miss the way things used to be.
I've found that various changes in my life, especially marriage and motherhood, have driven a wedge between me and some of my oldest friends. It's terrible, and inevitable. But I think you can maintain the friendship knowing that although circumstances will change throughout your lives, you will always be there for each other.
It's interesting to hear a married person having this issue/complaint. Among the small group of single friends I have left, we often talk about how it isn't so much that we begrudge our friends getting married as it is we miss their friendship. Some really good friends, once they get past the intensity of the courtship/planning a wedding phase, manage to still be there for you - so there is hope yet!
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