April 10, 2006

Group Rhythms

The retreat this past weekend was intended for people to work on emotional and spiritual healing. In the large group we all gather to share, to worship, and to jam on drums and rhythm instruments. We also break out into small groups of three to four people. One of the ‘exercises’ is for each small group to create a group rhythm that we share at the end of the retreat.

I’ve been a group facilitator the last three years. Depending on the group, I may or may not get to deal with my stuff in the small group context. Each year God has met me, but it hasn’t always happened through my small group. This year I had an awesome group: Dancer Girl, Thinker, and Mentor Man. In our first session together we just dove off the deep end and kept going from there.

This year I’ve been challenged over and over again by Psalm 46. The Psalm starts with “Though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea…” and ends with “Cease striving (Be Still) and know that I am God.” The inviation is to find rest and stillness in the midst of chaos. Yet, something has been in the way. During the retreat I realized I’ve been mad at God for a long time. When I’m mad at someone I have nothing to say unless and until we discuss the conflict and work through it. I haven’t wanted to deal with the anger so I've avoided much time alone with God. I’ve seen people close to me get lost in mazes of anger at circumstances and at God. I’m scared of getting lost. I’m scared of losing my safe place. But in not being real with the emotion I’ve lost that safe place anyway. My group was great at letting me work through that anger and get to a place of peace.

Our group rhythm? We stood up shoulder to shoulder in a square and leaned back into each other. Mutual support and rest.

1 comment:

thinker said...

I was glad I could be part of it to support you for once and that you were able to get something you needed. You have given me so much support over the last 4 years and 4 retreats (has it really been that many for me?) even this year you continued to give so much to me, thank you. I wish I had more to offer you.