It was time

Email today from BossOne. I'd seen her looking sad and sent an email asking if she was ok.
----
Yes, thank you. Wavering in a decision-making time, that is all. Buying TalkerBoy a computer means I am committed to making this Business a continuing, ongoing entity. Can I? Should I? Do I want to? How good can we make it? What the heck am I doing here?

You know, the existential stuff about being/doing/having.

I needed a pep talk and I mostly need to talk to BossTwo about this stuff. It is easy to complain about him but harder to have a real conversation about everything. I have to start making decisions without him and it makes me nervous.

Thanks for asking. Plus, I like it when we are all really busy and I don't feel busy today.
You are the BEST! Thanks a lot for asking.

BossOne
-----
After that, it only seemed fair that she know all the facts on my end. I told her we don't know anything for certain, but we might have to move in August. She'd sensed I wouldn't be here much longer, without me saying anything. She asked lots of questions about what I want, what Jrex wants. She understood why I hadn't wanted to tell her 'til I knew. If we do have to move, I hope I get another boss that nurtures me as much as she has.

By the way, this limbo is killing me!! Our hammock broke, do we buy a new one? Wait and see. How crazy do I have to be for the next few weeks to get our house ready in case we have to sell? Best not to wait. How much do I invest in the people around me knowing I might have to leave? Best not to withdraw. I feel like an obnoxious teenager with my Mustang in neutral reving and reving the engine.