Miami Heat

Tomorrow I'm flying to Miami for a family funeral. It's my Dad's last relative (except for us kids), so I'm mostly going to support him.

Mary Frances, the woman who died, is technically a 2nd cousin once removed or something, but functionally was an aunt for my Dad. She died 'full of days' at the age of 90.

Two years ago Dad and I met in Miami to visit her. She's someone I've heard of all my life and had 'met' when I was three years old. At the time it felt a bit whimsical to go for a visit, but I'm glad I did. I knew that if I didn't, I would carry that as a life regret. One of my policies is to try to have as few life regrets as possible (I've got plenty of foot-in-mouth regrets, I'm talking about the bigger ones). Say what needs to be said without delay, prioritize the people in my life, don't assume there will be a tomorrow to 'get around to it'. I've slipped a bit in that discipline lately (being a homeowner makes for a much longer list of 'laters'), but in terms of the people in my life I try not to assume there will always be a later. This may be my last visit to Florida. This may be the only time I get to meet Frankie's children. This may be one of the last visits with just me and my Dad (not that I forsee any huge changes, but who knows?).

Mary Frances was well-off, graceful and dignified, yet with a twinkle in her eye asked that people call her 'Frankie'. She was married to a scientist who died 10 years ago. Unlike mine, her husband became a grouchy alcoholic. In contrast with many women of her generation, Frankie was comfortable speaking the facts. She did it in a gentle, loving way, but she didn't hide how hard it had been. I loved talking with her. Some women get pulled down by husbands like that, others get catapulted to automatic sainthood. There's an icon being written now with St. "Frankie" on it.

I'm glad that Jrex is willing to let me go (willing to deal with the Mutt and willing to take the money out of savings). As I read other women's blogs, I'm profoundly grateful that he's healthy, that we have a home, that he's alive, and that after almost 9 years we still like talking with each other.