Fore!

…person that is. I obediently trotted off to jury duty yesterday fully expecting to read all day and come home again without seeing a courtroom. This ignorant assumption was based on my last jury duty served. In Northampton, MA. Population 2.000 or so. Silly me, I live in BALTIMORE. In close competition for Murder Capital of the US of A. There are plenty of cases so No One has to feel left out.

In the morning my number was called so I sat through a two hour selection process. First anyone with someone in their immediate family (i.e. someone they’d lived with) who was in law enforcement stood up and stated the relationship. The stupid ritual involved the judge repeating back, “Ms. So-and-So, does the fact that your brother-in-law was chief of police in Timbuktu mean that you will be unable to render an impartial decision based solely on the evidence you will hear in this courtroom?” “No, your Honor”. "Then you may be seated". Next everyone who’d experienced a crime or had an immediate family member who had, went up one by one to tell the judge, the two lawyers, and the defendant about the issue. Out of 80 prospective jurors, only 15 of us remained seated! Finally people with a COMPELLING reason stood and reported their excuse. The main one that worked was non-refundable plane tickets. “I’m leaving tomorrow for a medical missions trip to the Republic of Palao.” (true). My favorite was the guy who stood up and said, “Your honor, I just can’t hear what’s going on half the time. I hear you now cause you’re talking to me, but if you turn your head I can’t hear you.” The judge laughing and shaking his head said, “Go on back to the assembly room then.” “What?”

At the end of all that I actually was placed in the jury box for the trial. Attempted murder and assault with a deadly weapon. The witness list included a bunch of “Lee” names. I’d dressed like a hippie in hopes it would lessen my chances of being called. Sigh. But the prosecutor looked at the whole panel and ‘respectfully dismissed juror #4’. Thank you, I knew the big blue scarf would get me off!

At 3 pm when we all assumed we'd be out the door at 4:30 they called another trial! This judge’s selection process only took an hour. By the luck of the draw, and because I’d taken off my hippie scarf, I was selected and seated in jury seat #1, closest to the judge. So he appointed me foreperson for the jury! What the heck? Shouldn’t it be someone with some experience?

Fortunately this case seems a little more straightforward. It’s ‘just’ for ‘possession with the intent to distribute’ crack/cocaine. Today I’m dressing more responsibly.