July 14, 2006
Our house is signed, sealed, and scheduled for delivery September 18th. The buyers agreed to raise the home price to cover the transfer taxes and fees, so the house will sell for $233,000. This morning I gratefully lowered all the shades and turned the AC up. We're dreading the electric bill next month...
As I left the house in comfortable disarray this morning I started thinking about perfectionism. The hardest thing about the last week was having to leave the house perfect every single day. No exceptions or exemptions. No lint on the carpets, no evidence any human sleeps in the beds, no dog hair, no dishes in the sink, no dog toys on the floor and no dog poop in the yard. I was in a box two sizes too small for my body. There was no slump room. Granted, after slumping for a week or more, the clutter and disarray depress me and drive me crazy. But in-between perfection and disorder there is a comfortable range where it feels ok to just LIVE.
A couple of my friends have shared their struggles with needing to be perfect all the time. I had trouble understanding the pressure they felt until this week. No wonder they feel anxious and depressed much of the time! I couldn't do it for one week and they've been trying to do this for 30+ years.
Interesting quote along those lines: "Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person."
--Dr. David M. Burns
All I can say right now is that I'm glad to let the walls fall down and begin to breathe again. The fear of not selling the house has gone and I'm more relieved than I can say.
Posted by OTRgirl