June 26, 2006

Home Repair Tips and Tricks

A wallpaper scraper has a wonderful 4 inch razor that works great for removing old paint from baseboards. It can also be used to smooth rough walls and prep for painting.

1. When you're finished with the scraper, DON'T leave it razor side up in the tool bucket.

2. When you're hammering a nail in the baseboard, DON'T lose your balance.

3. Try not to scare the dog by cussing VERY loudly as you run to the bathroom to rinse and evaluate.

4. DON'T try to call your husband while driving to the ER and pressing paper towels to your chest with your bleeding hand.

5. Thank God for knees that can steer.

6. When he (the husband) offers to join you (after an all-nighter moonlighting in the hospital), don't try to be tough and say he doesn't need to bother (be grateful when he doesn't listen to you).

7. DO try to think of a better story than the truth, 'cause repeating the klutz-factor version will get old very quickly.

8. DON'T try to do home repair right before church, especially when you're scheduled to do announcements.

9. DO add in the phone numbers of new members of the leadership team before you need them.

10. When the nurse gives you a tetanus shot, DO have her put it in the same shoulder as your bad hand.

11. Six hours later when your shoulder aches, before you stretch it over and over and over again, DO ask your husband if a tetanus shot causes muscle pain.

12. Again, DO think of a better story for when they announce why you're not in church...

13. Answer phone calls as graciously as possible. Repeat pitiful story. Again. And Again.


otr sis said...

OH LORDY! How is your hand? Did you need stitches? I feel bad that I didn't telepathically know something was wrong and call. Although then you would have had to tell the story AGAIN. Blogs can be so useful for this sort of thing.

Props on your method of telling the story. :)

Much love.

bg's Little Sis said...

I'll be sure to notate all of your suggestions in my home repair journal of things to remember. Sorry for your mishap, hope you're on the mend soon!


k. said...

Oh, snap. Would this be adding injury to insult, or just injury to injury? Whatever it is, I'm against it.

Feel better!

Anonymous said...

ditto what k. said ^^^

oy vey. so sorry this happened. jrex didn't let on a word today! maybe he was still dazed.

how bad is it?! no matter what, get better soon!


Inkling said...

Whether or not the klutz factor seems very romantic to you, I think your retelling was quite funny. To be able to laugh at oneself and embrace all of our messiness and humanity is a gift indeed. It's always fun to read what you write, though I don't often comment. And for what it's worth.....I thought the quote from a couple entries ago quite spunky and tongu-in-cheek funny. Thanks for sharing it.

Oh, and thanks for the encouragement on my own blog entry about surviving without plumbing. =)

weigook saram said...

Oy vey! Wow, that sounds awful. Hope you are okay. Your post is very funny, although I'm sure it wasn't at the time!

L said...

GAH - you ok? MAN, this post is one good lesson on why I am not handy around the house. I am one walking accident waiting to happen

revabi said...

Oh my, I hope you are recovering nicely. So sorry you had the accident in order to write such a funny report. And thanks for the tip, I will be putting my leadership numbers in my cell phone right now.

Brendan Gertner said...

Haha. You're funny tips are actually very true. Home repair can be a bit gruesome, especially if you consider the fact that you're prone to mishaps. You need to be extra careful all the time. If you think you can't apply DIY tasks on everything, you can always ask help from the experts, right? =)

HouseLogic said...

Awesome home repair tips. Thanks for posting!