A wallpaper scraper has a wonderful 4 inch razor that works great for removing old paint from baseboards. It can also be used to smooth rough walls and prep for painting.
1. When you're finished with the scraper, DON'T leave it razor side up in the tool bucket.
2. When you're hammering a nail in the baseboard, DON'T lose your balance.
3. Try not to scare the dog by cussing VERY loudly as you run to the bathroom to rinse and evaluate.
4. DON'T try to call your husband while driving to the ER and pressing paper towels to your chest with your bleeding hand.
5. Thank God for knees that can steer.
6. When he (the husband) offers to join you (after an all-nighter moonlighting in the hospital), don't try to be tough and say he doesn't need to bother (be grateful when he doesn't listen to you).
7. DO try to think of a better story than the truth, 'cause repeating the klutz-factor version will get old very quickly.
8. DON'T try to do home repair right before church, especially when you're scheduled to do announcements.
9. DO add in the phone numbers of new members of the leadership team before you need them.
10. When the nurse gives you a tetanus shot, DO have her put it in the same shoulder as your bad hand.
11. Six hours later when your shoulder aches, before you stretch it over and over and over again, DO ask your husband if a tetanus shot causes muscle pain.
12. Again, DO think of a better story for when they announce why you're not in church...
13. Answer phone calls as graciously as possible. Repeat pitiful story. Again. And Again.