July 10, 2012

Making connections

In addition to a family visit and going to visit one of my best friend's from college, we've had a lot going on socially in the last few weeks.

Brex and I have hung out with B-boy and J-mom just about every weekend since we met them. Thus far, I really enjoy her. She's gone backpacking, likes the outdoors, isn't squeamish about using the neighborhood pool and could care less if the kids grab (and mouth) each other's toys. She likes having another Mom who doesn't want to ONLY talk about children. She's a lawyer who is staying home with their son for now and her husband works even crazier hours than Jrex. She's tried to connect to other Mom's in the neighborhood, but apparently many of the Mom's in the neighborhood 2011 playgroup are Mormon so that's a limiting factor. That playgroup meets during the day, so I've only gone once.

Last night we met at the pool with the boys. Neither one of the kids do much kicking or splashing. J-mom and I have comforted each other with the boys' lack of physical prowess. They both seem to be mellow kids who are perfectly happy playing with what's in front of them and don't seem particularly driven to crawl over to something new. B-boy is just two weeks older than Brex and it's cute to watch them sitting together.

That said, I've found out that Brex has the capacity to be a little punk! At our house, B-boy would pick up a toy and then Brex would try to grab it out of his hand (over and over). I kept making Brex share and J-mom kept saying it was fine, but so much for my mellow baby! Where did that little obnoxious kid come from?

In fact, when Aunt A and family were due to visit two weeks ago, they called in the morning to say they'd be late. I texted J-mom to see if she wanted to bring B-boy over after his nap. She did and so was here when Aunt A, Uncle D and the ferrets arrived. Talk about excitement! The ferrets stayed in their cage, but I think both boys (and the mutt) were fascinated.

This past Friday night we hosted the neighborhood "Wine Appreciation Group". One couple was our buddies, the Mommies from daycare. I'd mentioned our knowing F&C, another lesbian couple who live in the next block. The Mommies snorted that F&C were way too high class for them. Well, of course that meant that F&C were also here on Friday--they didn't seem at all snobby to us, so we think that any issues are in the Mommies' heads more than in F&C's attitude. We were joined by a fourth couple whom we'd never met before.  The fourth couple ended up staying until 11:30 that night! Turns out that Jrex and M bonded over cooking and brewing beer and N and I bonded over being in the Dead Mother club. We've been invited to their place in a couple weeks. (I'm obviously too tired to think of good nicknames anymore, huh?)

What's so strange for me in all this is that it's the first time since college that my friendships aren't forming around church relationships. That's always been how I've found community. In fact, it used to bewilder me to think about how people might form community without that built in bonding factor. As I've mentioned before, this neighborhood really does feel like a small town. The great side of that has been that people are eager to connect. The downside is people know your business. In fact, N and M had toured our house when it was for sale and F&C had been dying to see the inside for the past five years. Thank goodness I'd straightened up the upstairs since they definitely wanted the full tour.

I really like that Jrex and I as a couple are the kind of people that others want to get to know better. It's strange that our social calendar is full most weekends when in my mind we've barely started to put in roots. I guess they're happening anyway, huh?


NGS said...

First, I want you to know that I really, really want to eat your baby's cheeks.

We just moved and I am struggling to figure out how to meet people, too. I'm hoping that as soon as I start working more and meeting people, it will fall into place, but I totally feel you that meeting people as adults is so difficult!

Alice said...

Thanks for your thoughtful posting. Yeah, DH and I have realized how difficult it is to form friendships once you get out of college and grad school. We're hoping that when we get around to having a kid, we can meet other parents that way.

Jack Towe said...

Good news. Keep it up. You'll be a grande dame yet.

Lil'Sis said...

Lots Happening sounds great!