April 25, 2011

Pitiful, truly...

Apparently, I'm not one to suffer and wait if there's anything I can do to 'make' something happen. I checked on Craigs List and found a woman who's selling her Doppler for a fair price. The Doppler is a microphone that I can use to hear the Baby's heartbeat. I keep waking up and feeling scared that something's wrong, so for peace of mind for the next month, I'm going to go for it. Though I feel very silly, I'm also extremely grateful that I live in a country where such things are easily available.

Anyone else hearing the hovering doom of an Alpha Mom? So much for my relaxed, hippy version of myself. I should have known that would prove to be a myth. I blame it on the design world and Silicon Valley where I've become too dependent on gadgets (right, that's all this is, right? NOD and smile, people, nod and smile.)

Edited to add: Bought it. Took a while to find the heartbeat, but it was there! Phew. Jrex is fully convinced that I'm nuts, but it was worth it to just feel peaceful last night.


Aimee said...

Nodding and smiling. :-)

mama nabi said...

Oh, god. I had this cheap little device and would freak out every night because I'd hear only my tummy rumbling... and wished and wished that I had one of those fancy gadgets. Whatever keeps you serene. It's your pregnancy. You can do whatever you want. (And then later blame it on your hormones. hah.)

Lil'Sis said...

doing as I'm asked...nodding and smiling...it's your body, your pregnancy, your baby, you bring that Doppler every where you go if you need to find some peace, having done the high-risk pregnancy like you I've got no shame about my "crutches" I used to give me peace of mind during that time:) Hang in there sister.

oyr mmama said...

OTR girl, I just love you!

Inkling said...

No worries. I wanted one too, but they were too pricey and I never thought to look on Craig's List. What a great idea!

I kind of had the same thoughts - thinking I'd be all relaxed because I had so much experience, blah, blah, blah. But then I got pregnant and everything changed. And when my little guy was born, holy cow. I was even worse than I'd ever imagined. It's a miracle I ever left him with a babysitter or even considered letting my mom take the night shift with some bottles of pumped milk so I could sleep back in the days of my medical saga.

I promise, eventually you'll find your relaxed self again. It will look different than you'd imagined and be a little more involved than you might have thought, but I promise it does get less intense. For me, it happened somewhere near the 10 month mark? Maybe? I'd have to look back and see. But it did get better. And now I can even leave him in the church's toddler's class without me having a panic attack. =)

And just wait. JRex will have his own version of crazy intense one of these days. And it will be cute and make you want to smile.

Enjoy the doppler days in these next months.

p.s. If you get one of those rocker gliders later on in pregnancy like I did and spend lots of time in it rocking back and forth, do not freak if you don't feel your little one kicking later on when he/she's big enough to make movements felt by you. You simply can rest in the fact that you rocked them to sleep. I'll never forget calling the hospital and wanting to come in to have them check me only to realize that I'd been rocking for a couple of hours while reading a book and that was why it was so quiet and still inside. They had me drink orange juice to see if I still needed to come in. The OJ totally did the trick.