January 27, 2011

The rest of the story

Thought you might like a glimpse into the what's happening aside from The Big Move.

Yesterday was my work review. They "love having me in this position. Lots of wonderful feedback." Got a bonus check. Jrex and I have had lots of money discussions about my tendency to think of what I earn as 'mine' and what he earns as 'ours' (true). Dumped check in 'my' savings account so we can discuss what to do with it when he gets back. (Resist urge to run out and go clothes shopping)
In the past two weeks have had tons of emails, phone calls, text messages and chats with my friends and a retreat center to try to set up a SINGLE overnight with only four women. I could organize an event for 5,000 with less effort. Too many alpha women... I think I've managed to set it up, but sheesh.
I've started seeing a spiritual director. We've only had a single session, but even that was good. It's similar to counseling, but the goal is not for her to give me advice, rather it's for her to be a companion with me in listening for what God is doing in my circumstances and in me. Given all the transition in life right now, it feels really good to take time every other week to look around and evaluate my life.

The other bonus is that she's Asian. When Jrex and I have tried couples counseling it's been with white guys. The first one was wonderful, but there's a degree of explaining and understanding we had to do so they could understand some cultural stuff. For example, I can remember when Jrex and I were dating and he'd talk about parental pressure. "Sure, I get it!" I'd answer. Well, it was only after a couple years of constant conversations with his Mom and Dad about babies: when, how, what, are you? when, how, what, are you? when how what. Now! Do it. Go. When, how, what, what's taking so long? What's wrong with my children?! when how what... It took experiencing their relentless focus to understand and go, "Oh, PRESSURE. I thought you meant the way my parents asked me a few times if I'd done my homework. I had no idea what pressure really looked like." Anyway, it's convenient to be able to spend less time explaining some of the cultural background and cut to the deeper emotions.
Trying to set up a spring break long-weekend down to Joshua Tree with my climbing partners. We're going to put our top-rope anchoring training to good use.
We made the strategic error of adding Battlestar Galactica to our NetFlix cue. The miniseries arrived on Monday. By Tuesday night at 10:30 pm we still had one more episode to watch. I made Jrex stop and go pack for his Portland trip. Then at 11 pm (we had to scoot out the door at 7 AM the next day), he hits play for the final episode! This could occupy way too much of our free time.
Jrex and I are both rooting for Portland, but we chatted this morning and it's definitely not a slam dunk. More money than Texas, but in order to get a lab space with windows, Jrex would be in a building at the bottom of the hill. He'd have to take a tram to get up to the mouse facility and most of the core equipment. There are experiments where he extracts stem cells from cancer tumors and has only a certain amount of time to get them reinserted into mice. Factor in 10 minutes of travel time at either end of that experiment and it gets challenging. He's wandering around by himself today to do some hiking and thinking. It's tough that the choice seems to be between life outside work and career (in Dallas he'd share lab space with the founder of lung cancer research...).
If you want a glimpse into his life in lab that will make you laugh (and cry!), check out this video parody of Lady Gaga's Bad Romance: Zheng Lab's Bad Project (click here).


NGS said...

BSG was the story of our lives this past summer. I just know you're going to love it (well, until the last season, but by then you'll be so invested you won't be able to stop watching even if you tell yourself that you are allowed to stop watching it...)!

Inkling said...

wow...so many things happening. I like the idea of a spiritual director. Maybe someday you'll have to write more about that like how you went about finding one, what you do, what they do, etc. I'm totally curious.

The money thing....I'm so with you on this one. It would be stinking hard for me to think of money I earned as "ours" instead of mine. To transfer the idea of "more shoes for me!" to "pay telephone bill, pay gas bill" would probably kill me. It's a good thing I'm not currently earning $, at least that's one less thing to disagree on. ;)

What is it with alpha females and needing to be in charge? I think I'm experiencing that on some level and am trying to keep my head from spinning. Maybe someday you can write about how to have thriving friendships with that in the mix. I'd read it at least ten times. And take notes.

I'm praying for you guys as you try to figure out where you will move and what is best for both of you. May you get oodles of peace and excitement about the next chapter once you do know what decision you need to make.

And thank you again for your comment the other day. You are such a huge blessing, and that is an understatement. God better have a climbing wall in Heaven. I'll meet you there. =)

OTR sister said...

I loved BSG too. It's fascinating that the gospel is being preached (and fairly accurately) by the evil robot. It is a combination that can get uncomfortable.

I've never ridden the tram but we designed the materials that marketed it as a tourist experience. And Jrex might just get to ride it all the time. :)