January 29, 2011

Heading North

No, we haven't made a decision yet, I'm just heading up to SF to see one of my college buds. Let's call her Warm Efficiency. She is a petite Indian woman and was one of my best friends in school. Leading by example, she taught me that most people like to answer questions, even if they jump the 'don't intrude' wall I had back then. Sitting with a gay Republican in our crazy liberal college she asked, "When did you know you were gay?" Chatting with a friend who's part of a bulemia support group, "What do you feel like after you purge?" With me, "I hear everything you're saying to me, but have you told him that?" The power of the question. It's one of my biggest life lessons.

Anyway, I'm excited to have lunch with her. Two years ago, we did an afternoon with each of our husbands and her two children, but since then we've just met each other for lunch. There's too much to talk about to dilute it with extra people!

Without having read my last blog entry, Jrex told me to have fun and do what I want with the bonus money. Yeah! Might have to swing by Zahara and H&M in the city today...

Our retreat night is OFF. I couldn't get anyone to run up there with a check in hand to physically sign a contract on Friday. Who doesn't take info over the phone! Sheesh. We're going to hang out for the day next Friday at Only Child's house instead. No overnight, but no expenses either. Works for me.

Jrex is back from Portland. We're hoping to do a weighted list tonight. One of my coworkers told me about this. Picture a spread sheet. In the left hand column A you list everything that is important to you in a city. Then you assign each item a percentage number: the total has to add up to 100%. In column B, you put Portland, Column D gets Dallas. Then you go down the list and give each city a 1-5 rank. 1 is 'does not apply', 5 is 'has that characteristic in full measure!' In Columns C and E you multiply the rank by the percentage point for each city. Then you add it up and whichever city gets the most points wins.

We're thinking that he'll do a list where he just thinks of his needs and I do one that's just about mine (like I won't rank the quality of research and he won't rank access to my family). It's a way to neutralize the discussion and help us both get at our deeper dreams and needs.

Good times, right?


Rachel said...

Hope you have fun with your friend. She is brave to ask questions like that.

Enjoy the shopping in SF while you can. I miss the density of shopping in Union Square, touristy though it may be.

I am still rooting for Portland, probably because if it were me, that's the place I would choose. I say this as someone who has spent lots of lots of time in Texas. But Texas has pockets of coolness, as you have seen, and I find that the hipsters are a little mellower there. Anyway, I am very interested in your deliberations, and in seeing where you end up.

Anonymous said...

You also may want to do the spreadsheet because it will bring matters to your attention which you had not previously considered.

Or, you can save time and just flip a coin.

When the coin is in the air, you'll discover which one you really want.