Bay Area, we're going to have to come to terms. I met you briefly a number of years ago, but now that we're going to be in a longer term relationship I have to be honest about my concerns.
1. You're brown. I know it's not right to judge someone based on their color, but I've been a green girl for a long time. Ya' know, in a seasonal sort of way. Sure you have green trees, but they're more of a gray green. The only bright green you have is the sort that makes me feel guilty water is being wasted on your vain attempts to replicate England. What's wrong with golfing in honest sand?
2. You're crowded. I'm more into an exclusive relationship. I don't know if I appreciate having to share so much time and space with so many other people. Especially since the only real way to get to know you is to crawl up or down one of your 'freeways'. I mean, thanks for not charging tolls and all, but could you start moving your harem a little faster?
3. You're real. I think I liked us better as a long-distance theoretical couple. Until I flew in yesterday I was fine with moving (mostly). But it was all a theory. This is real. I am actually moving to California! Am I crazy? What am I thinking? I have to drive FOREVER to get to you. With a dog. Without driving my husband to drink as I twist and turn with restless energy and whine for hours.
Sigh. I'll keep trying, but I would appreciate some gestures on your part that you really want me here. Like a fantastic apartment with access to bike/hike trails, easy access to Stanford, my unknown future job, and very quiet neighbors. Today. Then, for the rest of the weekend, I can enjoy the friends I'm staying with and get to know your softer side.