What's really hard about all this is that I'm choosing a life, not just an apartment. Anything south of Stanford means it's unlikely I'll work in San Francisco, but all the people I know socially are down here. From what I know of driving in traffic so far, if we live north of Stanford, I'm unlikely to see them much. North of Stanford the communities get older with more quaint homes and more hills, which I like. I hate the idea of having to drive everywhere, which seems to be the lifestyle south of Stanford. (Shall we call that, "SOS"?)
I had an informational interview yesterday at the largest exhibit design firm on the west coast. In many ways, I would LOVE to work there. But it's in Oakland. Which means I'd need a place in Belmont/San Mateo so I can get across a bridge on the Bay relatively quickly. That would mean we both have a 30 minute commute. I could choose Menlo Park and Jrex could bike to Stanford, be able to get back to deal with the dog, leave relatively easy access to my southern friends, but there is little housing available. And Menlo would mean its too far to commute to Oakland.
I know something is going to work out (it has to!), but I'm fighting anxiety/worry. I keep trying to trust that God has worked out some great details in terms of selling our house and furniture, and he knows what we need here. (Did I tell you that the friends I'm staying with here have offered us a free sofa? One that is comfy and big enough to sleep on?) It's sad that despite all the ways that God has met me throughout my life, each time I come up against a new set of unknowns I thrash around and struggle to trust. You'd think I'd learn to just walk in peace!
Whine whine whine. The real dilemma is that all these possibilities are keeping me up at night and waking me early in the morning. I'm exhausted!
6 comments:
Transitions are so hard... I am praying that you find the peace that passes understanding and the right doors open to you.
Yo, my own JRex's aunt and uncle live in Menlo. Want an e-mail intro? He's an epidemilogist (research) in the area. One of the UCs, I think, not Stanford. Maybe I'm wrong.
In any event, you have my heartfelt sympathies and prayers! I can't wait to see what you are given.
Sometimes it helps me to literally speak to the Lord the specific times and ways He has been faithful to me in the past. The thing is, He gave us free will. So we have to make that choice each and every time.
I'm looking foward to seeing how the Lord shows His faithfulness to you this time! You know I'm praying...
Oh yeah - and I would suggest taking the pressure off yourself about 'choosing a life, not just an apartment'. The Lord will be faithful in every area; the 'life' will fall into place. Just hear from Him about one thing at a time.
Completely off topic - I have a friend who has an HMB sticker for Half Moon Bay. He said it also can stand for High Maintenance Bitch.
Numerous "lifestyles" can work out, one isn't necessarily better than the other. I wouldn't have necessarily picked my neighborhood when I first moved to Seattle (in fact, I know I wouldn't). But I'm really happy here. God will take care of you, it just might not be what you pictured. But it will be exciting!
I think 30 minutes for that commute is pretty optimistic. Traffic can be hellish. Unless you drove and parked at BART. BART rocks. If you can find work/ housing on the BART line your life will be easier. Good luck!
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