Receiving

On Sunday, I went to church. After the sermon, our pastor asked if anyone wanted prayer. A homeless woman was sitting in the back and raised her hand. I went to pray with her. The whole time I prayed both of us wept. I got a glimpse of God's heart for her, his sadness for her, but also his love and delight in her all at once. Her prayer request was for 'a place'. When I went back to my seat I just felt so grateful for the many blessings I have. The fact that we could drop $70 for dinner (granted that's very excessive for us) the night before was mind-boggling for me.

Of course, after the service, the homeless woman told different stories to everyone in an attempt to get what she could out of the church. My pastor's wife asked me to go see if there was anything we should do. The woman had already told me that she's been without a place for 13 years. Growing up in inner-city Cincinnati has given me exposure to various homeless neighbors. On college break years ago, as I studied in the downtown library, a man came to my table and started telling me his sob story. "Edward, what are you doing?!" I exclaimed. He blinked and said, "Damn, girl! I used to play in your house!" I challenged him to go to my Dad's non-profit housing firm and do some odd jobs to get money. Shame-faced he started making excuses for why he just needed the $2 instead. Given experiences like that, I knew that 13 years without a place is a lifestyle choice. I asked my new homeless friend what resources were available for women here in Baltimore. As I'd assumed, she knew them backwards and forwards. She got around to asking me for money and I grinned at her, "I don't carry cash, you know how that goes." She looked back at me and I could tell that she knew that I knew the gig. She grinned back, "yeah". She wasn't ready to change, and sometimes love is just standing back and letting someone feel their need. I gave her a hug and we walked out together. She had a bag of vegetables, perhaps some cash, and a warm place to sit for the morning. It was all she was ready to receive.