Thank you all for your kind comments on my last post. Not to worry, I've already hired a mother/daughter team who come and scour our house every other week. They've come twice now and have done way more than I expected. I'd asked them to just vacuum, mop and clean the bathrooms. The rest seemed to be stuff we could handle. Instead when they come, they dust blinds, clean ceiling fans, wipe baseboards, clean the stove top, and more. It's already provided a much more restful environment.
Last night after dinner (Jrex made a fantastic veggie stir fry while I put the baby to bed), we were chatting a bit more about my blog post. He mentioned an article from the NY Times (will link if he sends it to me) about making marriage work. A group did surveys of long-term couples to find out what the common threads were; they found three key elements.
1. A great sex life
2. Good communication
As Jrex put it, he's never liked that 'give 100 percent' quote. He doesn't think it's a useful or realistic metaphor, but the idea of generosity made a lot of sense to him. Doing the unexpected kindness, giving a surprising complement, creating moments of joy for each other. It resonated for both of us.
So at the end of the night, when he looked exhausted (he's been sick for over a week), I said, "Why don't you go to bed?"
"I will, I just have to put the food away."
With a grin, I said, "I'll do it for you. Look, I'm being Generous!" He laughed, "Oh, is that how we're going to play this?"
"Absolutely! 'Watch how generously I'm taking out the trash'."
With laughter. That's how we roll (eventually).