July 27, 2010

Is it just a number?

Last week I attended a surprise 30th birthday party for Smart Girl. Most of the participants were in their late twenties or early thirties. I ended up chatting with a woman who commented on being older, single and childless and how hard it is. I sympathized and mentioned that since we don’t have children yet, and the husband I do have is often working, I’ve ended up with many single women friends in their late thirties. She blinked at me and asked, “How old are you?”

“I’ll be 39 soon”

She gasped, “I NEVER would have guessed that. You don’t look your age at all!”

(Thanks, Mary Kay! And the basal cell skin cancer in my 20’s that has made me a sun avoider ever since...)

39. Tomorrow. I’m surprised how little it affects me as a number. I’m fine with approaching my 40’s. I’m in good shape, I love my life and there are adventures ahead. The only place of fear is around us having children. We’ve been trying since the miscarriage last December, but lots of circumstances have conspired to make it difficult. It’s just strange to know that every month is crucial, and that no matter how young I look or feel, inside my body, I’m still 39 years old.


Aimee said...

I'm sorry circumstances are making it harder. I'm sorry for the waiting and the trying, the hoping and the waiting. (That is the hardest part, I think.)

Praying for you tonight.


Would I sound like a kid in junior high if I told you how cool I think you are? And how I'd like to be more like you? And how I hope you have a wonderful, blessed birthday? :-)

Life of a Doctor's Wife said...

Happy birthday!!!!

Age is such a strange tricky thing. It's really only apparent in weird bodily issues like fertility or mental alertness. That said, good luck with the baby - I hope everything works out exactly as you want!

Anonymous said...

I just told a good friend of mine that I'm 39 (surprised that she didn't know my age), and she also acted genuinely surprised.
I can so relate to the age/baby thing. As you know, I'm pregnant with my first and we tried for two years to get here. I definitely thought it was not going to happen. So much so, that it took a long time for me to really accept that I was pregnant. I was pretty much in shock!
I wish you all the best on your journey and...happy birthday! :)

beloved said...

Oops that last comment was mine.

Inkling said...

Happy Birthday! When I can pray these days, i ask God to give you the desires of your heart, specifically a child very soon.