March 19, 2008

Truth is worse than fiction

One of my friends from my women's group last year ended up getting hired at my company. Now we walk that strange line of being coworkers with a friendship that started outside of work, but has diminished as we function in busy, parallel spheres at work.

Two days ago she emailed that she wouldn't be in the office. I heard from someone else at work that her husband had an accident. She called me yesterday and the first thing I asked was, "How is your husband?" She seemed startled, "How did you find out about him? . . . That's weird. Oh, you must have seen my posting on Facebook." I just let it slide because that seemed better than her being freaked about people gossiping about her in the office. For some reason I assumed he'd been in a car accident. I guess, given the traffic around this area, that's a logical assumption.

It's much worse.

He was cleaning a vase. A four-foot tall vase. Which imploded. Both hands got sliced badly, the tendons to both thumbs were severed and the nerves were cut. He has hand surgery tomorrow and will be unable to do anything for three months. He can't even clean up after he goes to the bathroom without help! This feels like one of those horrible stories you read about in the newspaper and then chat about with co-workers. "Could you imagine? How awful!" Yet it's someone I know having to deal with this. I've never met her hubby and am not sure where they live. I know I should offer to help, right? Any ideas?

My two big fears are going blind or losing my hands. I keep thinking about him and what he must be going through.


Mama Nabi said...

Grapevines can be amazingly fast... hmm, maybe she'll need help doing some of the basic errands? Wow... PN sliced a finger and lost feeling in it due to severing some nerves - but then he was drunk and thought it'd be a good idea to place a glass candleholder under an airconditioner.

Rachel said...

That sounds terrible. I can't imagine living without the use of my hands. I will pray that the surgery is successful.

It sounds like she will need a lot of help with the little daily things because she will be busy taking care of her husband. So I might offer to cook for her, or hire someone to come over and clean her house one day.

Snickollet said...

How awful. I hope the surgery goes well. I'll keep them in my thoughts.

Cooking and cleaning help are great ideas. A pile of entertaining magazines is always a fun pick-me-up when things are tough at home. A gift subscription to Netflix (to entertain them both). Some new CDs or books on tape.

You are a good friend.

Anonymous said...

Yes, you are a good friend...the food and housekeeping are huge gifts, from someone who's gotten and given them they are huge helps and I love Snick's ideas of movies, books on tape, etc.

Hope it goes well for them and you too.

Anonymous said...

that is terrible! i hope he regains the use of his hands!

i agree, food and cleaning are great gifts! as well as good entertainment.

Aimee said...

As other posters have said, offering to cook, clean or run errands would be an immense help.

For cooking, might I suggest casseroles, especially those that can freeze well.

Movies are a great idea, and maybe find out if he reads... perhaps get books or books on CD if he will be as limited as it sounds he'll be.

Also, if you can, offer to help her out one weekend by staying with him for an hour or so to let her get out. As somone who's BTDT, I would've kissed the feet of anyone who had offered that - and I hate feet! lol. I'd offer this after he's been home about a month or so, as she'll likely hit the wall by then.

Also, look into gift certificates for home food delivery service (does Schwann's do service there?) or other grocers that deliver. I'm not sure about Costco, but Sam's offers a "click and pull" service, so a gift certificate would be appropriate for that, so she could grocery shop online and pay for it that way.

Sorry... I don't mean to go on and on. But having recently been a shut-in b/c of baby's surgery, I could go on ad nauseum about helpful things to do. ;-)

BTW, I'm going back to your hometown tomorrow for a follow-up visit. And then again in May. What's nice to do in May?

Beloved said...

So sorry to hear about your friend's husband. That is terrible and for it to happen in such a freakish way just makes it somehow more difficult to accept.

I agree with everyone's suggestions on the cooking and cleaning. I bet she'd find that such a huge relief.