September 12, 2011

We ARE the bad kids in the back of the class

First of four "Prepared Childbirth" classes tonight. I think that Jrex and I are definitely in the 'which of these is not like the others?' category. All the other parents seemed to be doing the blissed out, miracle of baby thing. Of course, most of the people in the class are having their kids in late November or December. NO one else has procrastinated as badly as we have (we're due 7 days after the class finishes...whoops). I thought the whole focus was going to be on labor and delivery, but this first class was all about interviewing and then introducing the people in your little group. Discussing a chart of pregnancy symptoms and how to relieve them, hearing about the right biomechanics to use during pregnancy, etc.

Given the fact that I sit on a balance ball all day as my 'chair', it was amusing/annoying when they spent 10 minutes going over the benefits of using one. I do think that it's been a big part of why I can still pick things up off the floor (plié/relevé...hips apart and down, swoop and rise) and why I'm not getting back pain. Apparently, it can also help get the kid into the right position in my body. I don't know if it's true or not, but they said it might help avoid backache labor. I'll let you know.

We were in the second-to-last row making snarky comments to each other the whole class. He kept correcting the teachers' anatomy explanations (in a whisper to me), I kept muttering about having to hear about how to manage pregnancy symptoms. After I checked off what symptoms I've had and it was only a third of the preggers possibilites, I poked him in the arm, "You are SO lucky! This could have been so much worse." He raised his eyebrows and peered at me over the top of his glasses, "No, YOU are so lucky." I laughed, "I KNOW I'm lucky, I just don't think you appreciate how lucky YOU are. You should be much more grateful for how easy I've made this for you!"

During class, the baby was really pushing and stretching and making me uncomfortable, I nudged him again, "This child is already a trouble-maker. He's definitely YOUR son." Jrex shook his head in mock sadness, "I keep having to point out to you that this whole thing was YOUR idea!"

Everyone else was being wonderful and polite and listening intently to the teacher. Oops. On the way home I commented that it's a good thing we weren't in high school together cause we'd have gotten into lots of trouble. I could blame Jrex, but really, since 10th grade, I've consistently been the bad kid in the back of the class. It must drive teachers crazy to have me around: I'm paying attention and listening, but usually just restless enough to make comments to people sitting near me. I've sat giggling through way too many classes, sermons and lectures with a wide variety of people for me to be able to blame Jrex.

How are we going to NOT corrupt a child?


OTR sister said...

T and I joked and whispered throughout a parenting series last year. Actually he did most of the whispering and I just tried not to laugh out loud. Turned out to be a boring, unhelpful class but I had a blast.

I hope they give you some good labor tools/techniques, but if not, at least you guys are having a good time.

mary said...

I heard once that parenting is like handling a large sheet of glass. You try to handle it carefully, leaving only handprints. The scary part is that some parents make cracks and some even shatter the glass.

The classes I took were pretty lame too.. we were definitely the bad couple in the back. The highlight was running into an old grad schoolmate who was having twins!

Anonymous said...

Mea culpa! You are not to blame for your rudeness and talking in class, church, and public meetings. You leaned that from me. And I learned it from my father.

Thus it is, the sins of the fathers . . .

Mizasiwa said...

I remember signing up for a pre birth class thinking it was going to be about breathing and relaxing (like lamaaz (spelling) classes) I have two much younger sisters so pretty much knew what the rest of it was all about and pretty sure I could get angel man into the swing of things myself 9we also waited pretty late) but was having problems relaxing in general (stupid A type personality ;-) but then we got there and it was all boring boring boring and then she said "you all know how to breath so this class is not about breathing" and i thougght - shoot what a waste of money and spent the next 8 weeks making fun of all the other students - oops!!

Anonymous said...

Having sat with you in the back of the room at retreats - I am ok with blaming you for distracting me :)