While doing home repair you lose your balance, fall backwards and slice the palm of your hand open on a wallpaper scraper in a bucket. Do you:
- Lay there crying and hoping a neighbor notices and comes to check if you're ok.
- Call 9-1-1 and get an ambulance to chauffeur you to the hospital.
- Pick yourself up, rinse it, decide you need stiches, grab a handful of paper towels and then drive yourself to the hospital while calling your husband/wife/significant other on the phone.
- Stitch it your own damn self.
- Start crying and wait for them to leave so your h/w/s.o. can take you to the doctor.
- Call 9-1-1 for your weekly ride.
- Let the docs examine it, run over to urgent care with your dinner guests, get stitches and then come back and finish dinner.
- Tell them to stitch it. They're doctors, right?
- Lay there crying and hoping the home-owners will hear you and come outside. They should feel guilty!
- Dig out your cell phone and get to know a new set of ambulance drivers.
- Run back into the house and grab a headlamp while announcing to your h/w/s.o., "Change of plans. I have to go find my tooth." Walk slowly back to the scene of the crime and then scan the ground at a low angle with the light. Pick up the only chip of white you can find. Ask him if it's a tooth. When confirmed, take it home, put it in a baggy and call for a dentist appointment.
- That's what super glue is for.
Get up off the floor you wet noodle!
If you picked number 2:
Congratulations. You know how to work the system. Don't you have any friends?
If you picked number 3:
Well Done! You're good at handling shock and knowing what to do in an emergency. You have exactly what it takes to accumulate stitch scars and war stories and tell them with a smile. Rock on, you crazy kid. And maybe try slowing down, thinking a little and looking where you're going.
You eat bear meat, don't you? Raw.
PS. She left Saturday. Song of the day, "I'm Free! to do what I want..."