September 17, 2009

Jrex was right

Two nights ago, Dad K's breathing had slowed to four pants with a 45-second gap. Then the nurses came in to turn him and suction him. His breaths returned to four breaths with a 15-second gap. Jrex asked the hospice nurse if they could go 24-hours without suctioning.

They did. Dad K died early this morning. Peacefully.

Jrex is doing ok. He's in go-mode and not feeling emotional yet. I cried when he told me and have had a mild headache all day.

As a side note, I flew back to California Tuesday morning, picked up the dog that evening after working all day. Worked all day today and will be jumping on a red-eye tonight back to New York tonight. OTR Dad will join us tomorrow. Funeral tomorrow night.

Any particular Korean-American funeral customs I should be aware of? I feel very clueless.


Aimee said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, but I understand where you are in many ways. Dad K is not suffering or merely existing any more.

You, Jrex, Mom K, and the entire family will be in my thoughts and prayers. (((Hugs)))

Snickollet said...

Oh, I'm so sorry, but also so relieved that it was peaceful and that you can all now find your own peace with your loss.

Re: funeral customs, I did not go to the funeral John's parents had for him, but my dad did. He didn't mention to me anything that stood out to him as being different.

Safe travels. Lots of love.

Rachel said...

My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

Re funeral customs. Definitely wear black clothes. (My husband was scolded for his dark gray suit.) People will contribute cash in white envelopes. You're supposed to record who gave what, so that when there's another funeral you can give the same amount. After my FIL's funeral, we treated everyone in attendance to a meal at a restaurant. There are rituals where you put out food for the dead person, but since your inlaws are Christian they may not do that. (Although my inlaws are Christian, and they did.) Koreans often visit the grave site on the day the person died, and on Chusok and other big days.

Inkling said...

You and JRex are on my heart this weekend, as is his mom too. I am glad his dad is free, but sad that you all won't have him physically present with you in the coming years. I know you all will miss him. Praying for you.

Harmless Drudge said...

Oh, OTRGirl, I'm sorry. In some ways, I'm glad JRex made the call he did; in other ways, I'm sad that he's the one who had to make that call.

Praying for all you guys and sending you our love.

Lil'Sis said...

Thinking of you all and keeping you in my prayers...I'm glad his passing was peaceful, that jrex was with his family...I hope the services go well for each of you.

lots of love,

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry, praying for you all. Sorry I missed your call, no phone service in the hospital only wifi. I am home at my parents. Pain is manageable with the drugs, but I am completely wiped out.

Hilary & Mike said...

We are thinking of you & Jrex and your families. Lots of love. Hilary & Mike

punkassjim said...

My thoughts have been very much with you all since I read this the other day. Everyone (including Dad K) is now free to seek true peace.