August 7, 2008

At this very moment there are cops behind our apartment building, five cars with lights spinning out front, and one freaked out dog inside.

All for one drunk.

We've often said that Baltimore police should come work in Menlo Park for a week or two to get some R&R. The police blotter in Baltimore read like this, "Body found 2 a.m. Multiple stab wounds. Alley behind ______ Bar. If anyone has information, please call." In Menlo Park it reads, "Belmont: 2700 Block Sequoia Way, 8:25am. A woman reported that her neighbor was squirting her deck with a water gun." I'm not exaggerating, you can read it here. I love the Menlo Police blotter, it always makes me laugh.

What happened, you ask? CSI had just finished and I was explaining the back story to Jrex, who'd jumped in for the last 20 minutes. We heard a huge crash out front. Then the squeal of tires peeling away. I ran out to the balcony to see if I could see anything (so we could call the police. Unlike Baltimore, there's no retaliation for 'talking'.) A huge guy was cursing his car in our driveway! I jumped back inside, I'm still Baltimorized enough to fear that a drunk, big guy might be packing something and go nuts on us. I told Jrex to call 9-1-1. He hesitated. We heard the squeal of tires, a bang against the side of the house, more squeal. I glanced back outside and saw the car squealing behind our building. I grabbed the phone and dialed. Then stared in confusion when nothing happened. I hadn't turned the phone on. After more fumbling I got someone on the line.

Apparently they were flooded with calls about the incident. The police arrived a minute later. When I glanced out, there was a tall, skinny cop repeatedly insisting, "Don't move! Hey, stop moving!" In B-more, dude would have been on the ground, no questions asked, searched for weapons and shoved in the back of a cop car for safe keeping. Here? Five guys in blue are standing around the drunk. Is it a committee meeting?

All that said, we've had more drama here in our placid little hamlet than we ever had in Baltimore (if you don't count the time our house was burglarized...).

Nothing like walking the dog into a wall of curious neighbor's faces! "Do you need to go out, Muttola! Let's go, girl!"

5 comments:

Mama Nabi said...

Once, in the college town where I went to college (imagine that), there was a police report in the paper about a woman who called about her socks missing. Although I think it ws more about the fact that she needed mental healthcare assistance, it was a humorous read.

My goodness.

Anonymous said...

Great blog!

Now I have evidence to share about the crazy place you live.

Rachel said...

A little too much excitement, eh? Long Beach isn't exactly safe, but after living in the war zone that was New Orleans, it seems pretty tame to me.

Snickollet said...

I gave your blog a little award . . .

-snick

swallow said...

oh my, baltimore. i was laughing so hard at that story. it definitely has an effect on a person! i am only just realizing how it shaped me - my roommate asked me tonight whether i thought of here or baltimore as "home"... and i have already been in here and out of bmore for 3 years! he must be picking up on something...