April 26, 2010

It's all working out for the best

When no news is actually good news
After my third interview at "New Job", I really had a sense I wouldn't get it. Every single question had to do with internet skills. Mine are rusty, so I can't compete with someone fluent if that's the main focus of the job. I could tell that for him, that was the main focus.

A couple other things made me hesitate. I was willing to override my concerns, but they nagged at me. After the interview, I went over to chat with two friends who were contracting at New Job. They were in the back of a big room that is the office space. My interviews were in offices that rimmed the edge of the space. A gray cement floor, gray ceiling, gray cubicles and orange accents hemmed in my friends. In my current job, when I need to brainstorm or sketch, I turn away from my computer and sit at a drawing table that overlooks the bay and Mt. D1ablo. I pop in my headphones and listen to music while watching pelicans, herons, egrets, hawks and migrating birds. It's easy to sketch in that setting. I wondered where I could escape in that gray world, but figured I'd come up with something.

Then, a week after that interview, my friend who worked there IM'd me about only sleeping 2-3 hours a night for three weeks, how insane everything is there, how the Creat1ve D1rector looks like she's going to cry most of the time. Again, I'd have been willing to give it a try, but those factors were in my head.

After two weeks of nothing. I emailed the CD. Four days later she emailed back the most enthusiastic rejection letter ever: We loved your stuff!!! You'd be awesome to work with. So sorry that we had to choose!! That sort of thing.

In a way, the pattern of me having to initiate all contacts after the first interview was the final nail in the coffin. I'd been afraid of feeling set up and disappointed, but in the end, it felt like a relief.

Back at my old job, I had my performance review last week and found out I was the only person in the company getting a raise this year--it helps that my hard work has been seen and rewarded.

In the end, I know what skills I need to build for the next phase. I know I need something else, but I can survive where I am for another year (or so), until Jrex lands a job.

When no baby is actually good news
This is TERRIBLE to admit, but...

One of my good friends here got pregnant the week after me. It was painful to see her belly photos on Facebook since she was pretty much EXACTLY where I would have been. She'd had two miscarriages prior to this baby and was given progesterone to help this one to 'stick'. Anyway, the tragic news is that my friend's baby is 99% likely to have Downs Syndrome. She and her husband are working through it emotionally and are doing ok, but for me, it just made it feel fine that our life paths diverged.

Is it awful to admit that I'd rather have miscarried than ended up where she's at?

When a cracked tooth changes your life
You may remember my little faceplant back in January? Well, I now have a $1700 front tooth and the dentist shaved a couple of my other teeth in order to mask a chip in one of my incisors.

What you may not know is that I've chewed my nails my entire life. When I was really little and flexible, I'd even chew off my toenails. I've tried all the bad tasting nail polish (you get used to it), the squeeze balls, getting manicures, and having other fidget worthy devices. Nothing worked long term.

Well. After my dental work, none of my teeth match up well enough to chew my nails.

I guess it IS all working out for the best, huh?

7 comments:

OTRgirl said...

A note to my father (who is usually "Anonymous"). Dude: I worked almost 60 hours last week. I literally had neither the time or energy to look at a computer outside of work and NO time at work to do anything but try to hit my deadlines.

"Shape up". Hmph. (Thank you for your enthusiasm though!)

Anonymous said...

I'm glad for you that you're now through that double ordeal. Experiences that don't kill us outright actually make us stronger. Way to go.

Snickollet said...

I'm sorry, but not sorry, that you didn't get the job. I'm really glad you finally got an answer. And I love the examples of life working out in unexpected, strange, and even uncomfortable ways.

mary said...

Did you get a tooth implant? I'm in the process of getting one right now.. ugh, what a pain.

Sounds like not getting that job was a blessing in disguise!

re: miscarriage. I don't think it's terrible to feel that way. I think I'd probably feel the same if I was in your situation. I can't even imagine how hard it would be parent a Downs child.

Rachel said...

Well, it sounds like that was not the right job for you, so I'm glad you didn't get it. I can't imagine trying to be creative in such a depressing environment.

That's a rather expensive and painful cure for nail-biting, but hey, whatever it takes.

David said...

I don't think it so terrible to feel that way about miscarriage. I firmly believe that when humans intervene in a god's process like child birth, unfortunate things happen. Be patient and good things will come.

Twizzle said...

I'd feel the same way you do -- upon hearing about your friend's Downs syndrome pregnancy. Miscarriages suck, but the pain become less and less as time passes.