On Monday I had my very first ultrasound. I'm sure that guys suffer much worse once they hit 40 and have to have someone looking at their colon, but it's a strange experience to have someone probing areas you don't normally share with strangers.
The nurse at my OBGYN called me back an hour after the test (LOVE the digital age), "We need you to set up an appointment with Dr. O as soon as possible..." Fortunately, she continued before my heart could stop, "You appear to have a dermoid cyst on one of your ovaries. It's benign and not dangerous at all, but it is 8 cm and needs to come out. We can probably do a lapriscopic surgery, but you'll need to discuss all this with your doctor."
I came home and told my home doctor about it, his eyes grew big, "Wow, 8 cm. That's impressive. It's the size of a baseball!" What! I hadn't actually figured out how big it was, that's huge! He continued, "I've seen some the size of grapefruits, so it's not unheard of, but that's a good size."
I called my friend, Ms. Sword. She's had some experience with cysts; in addition to being impressed by the size, she added, "A dermoid cyst! That's so cool. Those are the ones with hair and teeth and things growing in them."
At first I didn't feel at all emotional about the whole thing. As the shock is wearing off, I'm realizing I want it out NOW. Not because of any health risk or need to get pregnant, rather, I feel dirty. I feel like I have some dustball that's rolled up and started growing in my belly and I don't want it. Ms. Sword's comment has given me a picture of the thing: it's like I'm carrying Mr. It's love child. Out, out, dam'ned spot!
The first opening with my OB is January 30th. Now that I know it's there, every time I bend over I think I can feel it. On Sunday I climbed the walls at the gym with no thought for my stomach. Today? I crouch to pet the dog and say, "Ow!" Jrex started out sympathetic, but as I keep saying, "8 cm? I've got a baseball in my guts. Ow. My stomach!", he's started to roll his eyes.
Last night, he grinned at me and said, "I'm downgrading it to a raquetball." Hmph.