September 6, 2008

Why can't they choose to grow?

Back in Baltimore, I worked for a married couple. As I was leaving, their marriage was deteriorating. They have two young kids (Verde Girl, 8 and Verde Boy, 6). Song Verde was not only my boss, but my friend. She and I often drove together to client meetings. She created my position after meeting me, she told me how to negotiate with Glum Verde, her husband, for a higher salary, she gave me wonderful gifts and made sure we got bonus checks after big jobs.

A few days ago I emailed her, both to find out how she was doing and to ask about something. I'd also received one of those Social Security forms that shows your financial history for future Social Security checks. The four years I worked for the Verdes? Nada. No record of any income. The short version is that Glum Verde pocketed the money. In the fifteen months since their divorce, he's not paid any child support, has cleared out their IRAs, retirement and savings and apparently become quite the ass. Song Verde is taking him to court over all this and will hopefully sort out my Social Security issue along with all the other stuff.

Overall, I'm just SO sad for them. I'm frustrated with Glum V, but mostly just sad for him. I prayed frequently that he would choose to grow up, that he would yield to the Lord nudging him, calling him, inviting him. It really felt like I saw the tipping point for their marriage come and go. You can't make anyone change or make the right choices, but I'm so sad for him that he's choosing the super hard version of his life. And that he's messing up two kids in the process.

I have other stuff on my mind that I want to post:

-Reaction to the Palin choice
-Musings on having a fashionable MIL
-Reflections on why cooking has usually felt like a duty, not a pleasure

So much to say, so little brain left...


Anonymous said...

Wow. Hope Song Verde gets the help that she needs, but also that Glum gets the help that he needs.

We went with the Ford for the all wheel drive. We don't really need it in the city, but to get any where else we do. The passes close at least once a year, if not more often.

Anonymous said...

Right away, you should contact the Wage and Hour Division of the
US Department of Labor about your unpaid Social Security taxes.

You don't have to wait for a lawsuit -- which probably will net you nothing.

Rather, the Feds take very seriously an employer's non-payment of taxes. They will go after Glum on your behalf, and on behalf of your co-workers. You will have priority status in any funds settlement.

And, if you have any craving for vengeance, once Glum is in the hands of the Feds, he will wish he'd never been born.

Mama Nabi said...

Oh... this makes me so sad - kind of opens up all the recent wounds. It still amazes me when I encounter anyone's inability to look past his/her own immediate gratification and cannot think about how his/her actions affect others close... like, um, his kids? And the fact that he screwed over all those employees... will be thinking about and sending good wishes toward Song Verde.

Haha... Oh, there IS so much to say about Palin, isn't there? Where to start...

Inkling said...

Oh my. That is so sad and frustrating. To protect yourself from dealing with IRS woes, I'd be tempted to take the advice from anonymous, though I'd first want to know that it wouldn't negatively impact your friend, Song Verde. What a predicament!

As for the Palin thing, man, am I in a tight spot. I'm headed back to visit a very red State in a couple of weeks, along with an incredibly red family. My very red mother will be taking me to the election commission office to vote absentee early, and I am 100% sure that she will not only pressure me to vote the red way, but she will ask me afterwards if I complied. A couple of months ago, I was certain who I'd vote for. Now I'm just confused and wishing that I could sort of forget about it. Originally, I was all about John Edwards. (My parents just about died of shame and indignation when I told them that their daughter was turning blue.) He was my hero. After Obama became the obvious front runner and he dropped out, I was still hopeful he'd have a big part. But then his character and integrity fell apart all over the news. And now, I think I'd like to just hide out in Canada and not have to decide.

For me, there are so many confusing issues that don't match up under one, environment, national security, peace,international relations, personal freedoms, taxation with representation, job security, etc. I haven't been this perplexed in a long time.

Rachel said...

I'm curious to hear your thoughts on Palin. I disagree with a lot of her policy positions, but she also reminds me of a lot of women I've known.

Too bad about your former bosses. He sounds like a real piece of work. I hope the tax issue gets resolved. That would make me so angry.

Anonymous said...

Oh, that's so sad...

Anonymous said...

That just stinks, for everyone. For your sake you should report the descrepancy, it could help bolster you're friends case I'd imagine showing this pattern of his, but I have no idea really. It's just sad.

Oh Palin, ugh is all I can say.

Sara said...

I firmly believe in karma...he'll get his later on!