January 9, 2013

He's so kind to me

On Sunday, the visiting pastor was talking about hearing God. At the end of his message, he prayed for the church to hear Him talk to each person.

When I talk about hearing God, the way it usually happens for me is that I ask a question and then a tiny phrase will pop into my mind. It might be something to look up in the Bible, like "Psalm 16:8". I look it up and it is the IT thing that I desperately need to hear. Or it might be an actual phrase. Over time I've become better at telling when it's just my distracted mind and when I'm hearing a 'still, small voice'. If I think it's just me, I push it away and ask the question again, if it keeps popping back, it's usually God's voice.

Anyway, what happened on Sunday was this:

Me: "What do you have for me to hear today?"

"Be at peace, my daughter"

I started to dismiss it as wishful thinking, but the thought came back, "Be at peace."

So I asked, "What does that mean!?" (behind the question was the looming pressure of my insane To Do list)

"When you begin to wake up, just surrender your day to me. Let me fill your hands and your time."

Me, still not trusting the simplicity, "Will you wake me up early so I can do that?" (I usually wake up when I hear Brex talking himself awake so I knew that I wouldn't have time for an official 'quiet time' if He didn't wake me up before the baby).

[A quiet sense of laughing] "I'm not on your To Do list."

That's SO Him. He gave me more grace than I expected, yet also wants to be bigger than I was allowing.

So that's what I've been doing the last three days. They haven't been perfect days, but they've been good. My work has become busy and that would usually mean I shut down and just get it done, instead I've been on Facebook, I've answered the phone to chat, and the last two evenings I've picked up Brex and then visited friends with kids on the way home. It's also like Him to lead me back to interacting with people and not shutting down, but it hasn't felt draining.

Such a simple interchange, yet it shifted a big pile of stuff in my head.

Thank You.


Anonymous said...

Amen. Loved this post.

OTR sister said...

"I'm not on your to-do list." Love it.