I found this really interesting quote today.
Dorothy L. Sayers has pointed out that it is no wonder that modern women desire to work outside of the home, as the modern home has shrunk:
"Let us accept the idea that women should stick to their own jobs - the jobs they did so well in the good old days before they started talking about votes and women's rights. Let us return to the Middle Ages and ask what we should get then in return for certain political and educational privileges which we should have to abandon.
It is a formidable list of jobs: the whole of the spinning industry, the whole of the dyeing industry, the whole of the weaving industry. The whole catering industry and - which would not please Lady Astor, perhaps - the whole of the nation's brewing and distilling. All the preserving, pickling, and bottling industry, all the bacon-curing. And (since in those days a man was often absent from home for months together on war or business) a very large share in the management of landed estates. Here are the women's jobs - and what has become of them? They are all being handled by men. It is all very well to say that woman's place is the home - but modern civilisation has taken all these pleasant and profitable activities out of the home, where the women looked after them, and handed them over to big industry to be directed and organised by men at the head of large factories. ...
The fact remains that the home contains much less of interesting activity than it used to contain. ... It is perfectly idiotic to take away women's traditional occupations and then complain because she looks for new ones. Every woman is a human being - one cannot repeat that too often - and a human being must have occupation."
I still haven't posted much about the decision to go back to work vs. stay at home. What I do know is that opting to walk away from design would have involved figuring out a new identity. Not necessarily a bad thing, but design fits me as nothing else has professionally. It may be selfish, but I'm glad to have that still be part of my occupation.
What do you think of that quote?
7 comments:
LOVE it.
Interesting quote. While it's definitely true that the household sphere has shrunk, I found that my days were pretty full when I was a SAHM. Caring for a baby or toddler is exhausting; I'm not sure how they did it in the old days, on top of all those other things. But then again they had older children and/ or extended family to help. Anyway, what I missed when I was a SAHM was the intellectual stimulation and feeling of accomplishment that I got when I was doing paid work. Of course it is rewarding at times, but there is no sense of completion or closure. I'm glad I had the chance to do both, though.
Wow. She is right on. What book or essay has this quote? I've got a few of her books, having discovered her when I wondered why my brother was reading tomes as a 10th grader that I read as a 22 year old senior, only to discover this little thing called classical education.
Looking back over this quote reminds me why the term "mommy brain" is so popular today. No wonder. It's like we've shrunk our world down. I'm not saying all women have, or even that those that have are necessarily discontented. But this puts a finger on what I've been feeling lately, and why it was so fascinating for me to go through my teaching things before putting them back in storage. And it also explains a little bit why I'm finding so much life in doing a real study that requires homework. I'm not sure I can sum up exactly what I am trying to say, but what she says totally resonates with me and helps me make sense of what I've been feeling lately.
Wow. Dorothy does it again.
a friend of mine and I always have this conversation.... our mothers seems to achieve so much more than we did as SAHM's and neither of us could figure it out...I believe that that the SAHM of 20 years or more ago was a totally different species than the one we have today (no discredit but i dont know many women who can do what my mother did) The women of old used to do a hell of a lot more than any of us could achieve now that we have pre cut veggies/frozen and otherwise. washing machines and tumble dryers microwave's and all the other mod cons... I have no idea how it works but its so true that we have given up so much of our identity as women wether we be SAHMS part time work from home etc...
I've held off on commenting, because i was afraid that since i am obviously pretty pro-SAHM, it would come off as judgemental or something. But I keep writing and rewriting this comment in my head, so I guess I need to get it out. But let me put the disclaimer that I truly trust that between you, JRex and God, you are doing what is right for your family. I just needed to give the flip side to a couple of your posts.
Early in the month you commented that you felt like you were a bad full time mom because you so often left the baby in his bouncy seat or doing tummy time, and that it must be better that he is getting more interaction at the daycare. I just wanted to say that I think this touches on one of the lies of today's culture, that more interaction/stimulation is always better. I disagree. Kids, even babies, should learn how to entertain themselves and be on their own. It leads to better imaginations. And it teaches them that their mother's (and other adults) lives does not revolve around them.
As far as this post, I think she's right on. But I think that is exactly why so many SAHMs are choosing to homeschool or have big gardens and can/freeze the produce or sew/knit/crochet for their family or others, etc, etc. It often times is healthier/cheaper for the family and gives the mom that fulfillment that we all need.
@Scarp, thanks for your comment. I think you raise some great points. In fact, it made me wonder how much of the Etsy/crafty/chickens in the backyard wave right now started with SAHMs. Really interesting thought.
I also really like your point about leaving the kids to develop their own imaginations and that time alone isn't necessarily a bad thing. This likely deserves an entire post, but watching the Babies documentary convinced me of the benefit of 'benign neglect'. The two kids from non-industrialized cultures spent a lot of time alone just looking around and exploring their worlds without adult intervention. They seemed happier, less fussy and bolder all at once than the kids from Japan and the USA.
Doesn't sound judgemental at all! I like hearing differing perspectives.
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