February 2, 2006

Real Simple here I come?

Real Simple features a section where readers offer snippets of wisdom. The question to send in for future issues is “What’s your favorite piece of advice from your Mother?”

In almost any given situation I find myself saying, “My Mom always said…” and now I can’t remember much!! So, if you knew Margaret H. Towe and you want to remind me, please do!

Here’s a random sampling:

“The things that irritate you in another person are often things you don’t like about yourself.”

[During my punk rock phase when my hair was dyed black and red] “You have a great sense of style. You’re very striking.”

[To a teenager reading a romance novel in the car] “Honey, you know it’s not always like that, right? Most of the time relationships are just ordinary, but good. You don’t have fireworks all the time.”

[When my Dad and I were impatient with Jrex in the midst of him trying to navigate the perilous road to marrying a white girl] “Jack, you cannot judge him! He’s doing the best he knows to do and he needs our support. Young lady, when you get mad at him, who are you helping?”

[early in my marriage when I wanted her to take my side as I complained he didn’t do verbal affirmation] “Even if he can’t reciprocate yet, keep giving him love in the way you hope to receive later. He needs to hear it and it’s better to invest in your dream for marriage than fret about what’s not there yet.”

[You’ve probably figured out that she liked Jrex A LOT!!]

It wasn’t specific advice, but her dying (from cancer, 8 years ago) was one of the greatest examples of HOW to live that I’ve ever experienced. She knew she was going home, and she was excited. We could see her spirit get too big for the frail body in the bed. She died with joy, peace, and a sense of humor. When her best friend compared her (and her nose tube) to an elephant turtle, she just grinned wryly and shook her head. At one point she looked down at her emaciated legs and laughed, “All my life I wanted legs like this!” When people came to visit, she knew they needed to say goodbye and was gracious and loving in giving them room to do that. She comforted US!

I wanted to find out what she’d have told me about life in her 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s. I miss you, Mom.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"Women tend to marry men like their fathers, because that is how they understand love and it is what they feel they deserve." [this can have positive and negative ramifications]

She would also quote Eleanor Roosevelt "women lose their identity at 13 and don't gain it back until they are 45. Work to keep who you are."